Friday, December 5, 2014

Giving Up

December 5
Letting go: For next year, I’m letting go of…

I ended a friendship this past year. The reason why seems silly when I explain. It boils down to the fact that a once close friend prioritized her wants over my needs.

A year or two ago I would have excused this,  even sought forgiveness where an apology was warranted.

Now I feel skepticism.  Skepticism and a little rage.

So I'm letting go of all of that.

No more silliness and drama and pettiness.

I'm only leaving room in my life for positive, supportive people.

And I'm going to let go of the guilt.
The guilt about the car accident, I mean.

I've been lying for months, telling people its gone.
It isnt.
Most days it is an albatross around my neck: seen by no one, felt by me alone.

But this year I'm going to do it.
I'm going to forgive myself. 

I hope.

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