Saturday, July 10, 2010

Tiny Relics

My Gramma crashed her car into her house last week. 

Don't worry. She's totally fine. But now she's moving to Nevada to live with my aunt and uncle. They've been trying to convince her to move for awhile, but the crash has become the latest selling point. Gramma is no longer able to live alone.

On Thursday Mommo I went to Gramma's to help her sort through her things and start packing. Let me tell you, the woman is a pack-rat. It must be a Depression Era thing, I mean who needs a dictionary that was printed in 1966?

Gramma also told us that we should take anything that we want now, because she isn't taking most of her things with her. She says that once she moves to Nevada we've lost our chance. Totally morbid.

I've lived within twenty minutes of my Gramma's house nearly my entire life. Its bizarre to think that she'll be so far away. It was sort of creepy to go through my grandmother's things. It felt like she was already gone, even though she was in the next room. I felt like I was intruding on her life. 

I felt guilty for growing older; becoming busy; scarcely visiting. What kind of granddaughter am I? 

I didn't really want any of the things Gramma offered. Our relationship isn't really about things for me. I call dibs on the horrifically heinous floral glass lamp in Gramma's living room. She's had it longer than I've been alive. I've always loved it... probably because of its ugliness rather than in spite of it.

The only other things I did take on Thursday were small; mostly relics from my childhood. Amongst them were the tiny dishes that my brother and I used to eat out of when we were kids. There are two small plates and two small bowls. One red and one blue. The reds were mine and the blues were his. The blue bowl is nowhere to be found, so I was only able to take three dishes. When I realized that the blue bowl was missing, it became the most important thing to me. I know that its only a bowl. But it was Justin's bowl. How could she lose it? How could she not realize that I would want it? What is wrong with her? 

I had to keep my cool though. Mommo was there, and she recently suggested with a  tearfully accusing tone that I may not be coping with the loss of my brother very well. 

After I calmed down about the bowl, I started to think that she may not be wrong.

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