I spend so much time inside of my head focusing on all of the things that I'm not and all of the things I fear that I will never be... Independent. Strong. Happy.
And why can't I be? Why is it so hard for me to be happy with myself? Why do I spend so much time seeking validation and reassurances from people who will never give them? Why do I tolerate being treated as second best?
Do I actually think I'm second best? Sometimes. Yes.
How do I move past these issues that I should have gotten over years ago? Why can't I just love myself? Why can't I just be a better person?
So. I'm not one for resolutions, but this year I'm making one. I resolve to focus on me. I need to get well again. I need to figure out how to be stable and healthy and look myself in the eye. I need to stop letting my past dictate my future. So 2013 will be the year of mental health and emotional healing.
I'm going to put my head down and just do work.
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