Prompt for December 11: Past Self: Write a letter to your past self, telling the old you who you've become. Did you live up to your own expectations?
My Dear Girl,
I see you so much more clearly now, full of determination and uncertainty. Bless you for that. In some ways it won't ever change.
I see you, a secret dreamer, with plans to "run the map" as that Kenny Chesney song says. We're not running the map, child. But we're generally happy, and certainly challenged at work. Our talents are recognized and appreciated, which is really all we ever wanted, isn't it?
We didn't go to law school after all. Life got in the way. But its alright, child. We both know that was really Daddy's dream all along.
Speaking of Daddy, we don't call him that anymore. We don't see him anymore. All of those things we feared in our heart-of-hearts turned out to be true- and so much more. He hurt us. So so much. But we turned out alright. We learned to be independent and we learned what not to be. We didn't see him for a few years. When we did all of the anger had turned into something softer. He's old now and kind of pathetic. But still bitter and horrible and all of those other things we don't need.
As for Mom, she surprised us. She turned out to be more than we'd originally thought she could be. But beware, child. Don't ever forget that you are not the chosen one. Mom will only let you down when yous tart to expect too much.
Be nice to TheFish. She doesn't know how to tell you, but she needs you. It will almost be too late before you figure it out. Daddy was right about only one thing. One day you will wake up and you will realize that all you have left are your siblings- if you aren't careful you won't even have all of them. It might be too late. It is fucked up how right he was.
We've had our heart broken by friends and lovers, by the people who were supposed to protect us and by those who didn't care at all.
We've run through a lot of bad friendships before we figured out how to spot a good one.
We had a couple of near misses. For awhile our light went out. I still don't know how we made it through, except by the grace of God. There are still a lot of dark days. You will find support in unexpected places, from people who do not have any obligation to help you or even care. Grab that support with both hands and hold on. You will need it.
Now, child, don't be alarmed. It isn't all tears and anger and fights and darkness. There is joy and giddiness and unexpected bounty. There is grace in the most unlikely of places. You will see kindness and compassion. You will laugh and dance and experience rapture. Grab these, too, with both hands.
Do we have regrets? Yes. Have we made mistakes? Absolutely.
But, my dear girl, we have loved and we have taken chances. And it has made all the difference.
Keep your chin up, my love.
xoxo
I see you so much more clearly now, full of determination and uncertainty. Bless you for that. In some ways it won't ever change.
I see you, a secret dreamer, with plans to "run the map" as that Kenny Chesney song says. We're not running the map, child. But we're generally happy, and certainly challenged at work. Our talents are recognized and appreciated, which is really all we ever wanted, isn't it?
We didn't go to law school after all. Life got in the way. But its alright, child. We both know that was really Daddy's dream all along.
Speaking of Daddy, we don't call him that anymore. We don't see him anymore. All of those things we feared in our heart-of-hearts turned out to be true- and so much more. He hurt us. So so much. But we turned out alright. We learned to be independent and we learned what not to be. We didn't see him for a few years. When we did all of the anger had turned into something softer. He's old now and kind of pathetic. But still bitter and horrible and all of those other things we don't need.
As for Mom, she surprised us. She turned out to be more than we'd originally thought she could be. But beware, child. Don't ever forget that you are not the chosen one. Mom will only let you down when yous tart to expect too much.
Be nice to TheFish. She doesn't know how to tell you, but she needs you. It will almost be too late before you figure it out. Daddy was right about only one thing. One day you will wake up and you will realize that all you have left are your siblings- if you aren't careful you won't even have all of them. It might be too late. It is fucked up how right he was.
We've had our heart broken by friends and lovers, by the people who were supposed to protect us and by those who didn't care at all.
We've run through a lot of bad friendships before we figured out how to spot a good one.
We had a couple of near misses. For awhile our light went out. I still don't know how we made it through, except by the grace of God. There are still a lot of dark days. You will find support in unexpected places, from people who do not have any obligation to help you or even care. Grab that support with both hands and hold on. You will need it.
Now, child, don't be alarmed. It isn't all tears and anger and fights and darkness. There is joy and giddiness and unexpected bounty. There is grace in the most unlikely of places. You will see kindness and compassion. You will laugh and dance and experience rapture. Grab these, too, with both hands.
Do we have regrets? Yes. Have we made mistakes? Absolutely.
But, my dear girl, we have loved and we have taken chances. And it has made all the difference.
Keep your chin up, my love.
xoxo
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